This last week has been very difficult for our youngest. With the joy of receiving approval to travel, came the realization that Mommy and Daddy would be leaving. For two weeks. Without her... She has struggled at bedtime for the past few weeks but over the past week it has been horrible. Sleep is hard fought, and never lasts through the night.
Tonight, she allowed me to go deeper. She said phrases such as "But I only have two more sleeps with you", "You will be gone for 16 days!", and "I just want you!". All said with sobs and anguish. My poor sweet girl. Her little life has been filled with too much fear and loss. It is hard to be the one that is causing her fear and pain. In seven years of life she has learned so much more than her fair share. She has watched her sister die... How do I help her recover from that fear?
And then it hit me, I have another daughter, across the world, that will be experiencing fear and loss in one weeks time. Both girls will be experiencing: the fear of being apart from the ones you love, anxiousness about change in schedule and routine, loss of a life you knew, never to be the same. For both girls, we make these changes to give them a better life. The changes are made out of love, but they don't come without pain.
My mommy's heart hurts for both my girls. The next week will leave our family forever changed. In only the best of ways, but changed none the less. I can't wait to arrive home to see our family complete.
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