The mundane everyday life

Sickness has hit the Lyttle household again. It's ugly here people... We have had a round of flu, and are now onto some stomach bug that had Teagan up every hour last night emptying out her tummy. I am praying that somehow Chloe will miss out on this round. It never gets easier to see your child sick.

Yesterday was a Baba day for our littlest. When Sean came home from work, Chloe was so happy! She has always had a very strong attachment to me, but it has taken a while for her to give Sean attention if we are both home. She has been making little steps for some time (saying goodbye to me on the days Sean is home with minimal tears). However, yesterday she threw herself into his arms when he got home and wouldn't leave his side for the longest time. She just sank into his arms, her little arms thrown around his neck, squeezing tightly. He would put her down and she would ask to be picked right back up. It was most definitely an answer to prayer to see her choose him over me. Mama needs a break and Baba has been waiting for this for so long!

The kids are so excited for Christmas this year. I cannot believe we are two weeks away! How does this happen? Thankful that my Christmas shopping is finished & the presents are wrapped. Chloe will most definitely be spoiled rotten, her Baba may or may not (hint: he totally is) be wrapped around her little finger. Among other things, she will be receiving a ginormous stuffed panda. Her uncle brought her a panda from the National Zoo over the summer that she latched on to immediately and since then she is all about pandas (and frozen but that's another story). She will either love it, or be terrified (its seriously huge people).

The panda that started it all

Her Christmas panda from Baba

In other Chloe news... She is starting to put words together to make small sentences. Most common usage: "My juice (toy, mama, etc.)!" also "Bye Mom (Baba, Noah, Tita, etc)". She is working hard on conversation skills and although much of her conversation is still undecipherable, we are hearing more and more understandable words all the time. She has perfected the telling you off motions and tones and uses a lot of NO! in those conversations. Luckily, she is just as sweet as she is sassy and will often tell us thank you (with sign language) with no prompting. It's not uncommon to hear her call one of us, wait for our attention, use her sign, and wait for us to tell her she is welcome.

Catching "snow" at Seaworld

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Our holiday season has been quite the adventure already. On the Sunday before Thanksgiving I had planned an afternoon out with a friend to celebrate her birthday. Mom and Dad had agreed to keep my kids for the afternoon while we went out to a painting class. Noah had started feeling ill on the Friday but had perked up a little by Sunday. I left the kids with Mom and Dad with a "sorry Noah's sick, but I can't cancel the class, and he can quarantine himself in the game room and take care of himself…" Mom was also feeling under the weather but wasn't telling how bad she felt. I got a text at 3:30 that said "When are you getting home?" from Mom. Thankfully, we were almost back to the house by this time. When I picked up the kids, Mom told me she was having Dad take her to urgent care with severe stomach pain. Not long after, she called to tell me it was appendicitis and she would be having surgery the next day. After the surgery, we found out that her appendix had burst sometime earlier Sunday (or before). Very scary to know that she was living on borrowed time before they removed it. She did well in surgery and felt instantly better (although obviously sore from surgery).

That Tuesday I took Chloe to the Dr as she had started coughing, running a fever, and was lethargic. Chloe tested positive for Type A Flu and had a temp of 104.8! Teagan had also been sick and Ben was starting, so the Dr prescribed meds for all the kids and we went home to keep our germs to ourselves until the whole mess finally left.

Thanksgiving day we were provided with a turkey, sweet potato casserole, and dessert from our church. What a blessing to not have to worry about all the cooking on this day as everyone still felt pretty crummy. Sean and Dad prepared a couple more items and dinner was delicious! Poor Chloe slept through most of the meal.

This past Sunday, we finally had a healthy family and decided to go pick out our Christmas tree. The kids talked to Chloe about how we would pick out our tree, and all the things we would do when we got home. Chloe agreed with everything they said, and you could tell she was feeding off their excitement. When we got to the lot she reached for Baba (Sean) and toured the tree lot, reaching for each tree she passed to feel the branches. Some were labeled "owie" and so we passed on those. The kids decided on a Balsam tree (soft branches were a must), and home we went to decorate. Chloe was right in the middle of the decorating chaos, adding soft items to the lower branches. When it was finished we turned out the lights and Chloe bounced all around the tree in excitement. She is so full of joy! We can't wait for Christmas morning to see her eyes light up.

 

 

First Halloween!

Halloween was an absolute blast this year. Chloe was to be Minnie Mouse, as one of her favorite shows is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. She was very excited to purchase her costume. However, wearing it turned out to be not so fun… She threw a fit when the costume came near. I managed to get one shot at the church fall festival before she pulled and fussed enough to get it taken off. It never made it back on. The headband ears were a hit though and so we made due with a pink skirt, black leggings, and ears for Halloween night. 

Having never experienced Halloween, we weren't sure what to expect Chloe's reaction to be. She absolutely loved it! She ran happily from door to door, trying to keep up with the huge group of children. Her little legs couldn't run fast enough but she sure tried! She would run up to the door following a sibling, pull her bag off her shoulder and wait for candy. If they made the mistake of lowering the bucket for Chloe to take a piece, she would grab a fistful and then go back for more (before her Mommy caught on to her). Thankfully she's adorable and got many extra pieces as well as quite a few *insert name here* "come look at this cute little girl! She's so sweet!"

She was in heaven. She ran the streets, bag on shoulder, yelling "See guys, look, see!!" pointing to her bag excitedly for all to see. It was so much fun to watch her. The older siblings each took their turns helping Chloe, proudly showing her off at each door. 

Minnie Mouse - isn't she cute? It lasted for one minute.

They are giving me candy!!

Sitting very still for face painting. She got a "meow" (cat)

Starlord, Dr Who, Minnie, and Aurora

Recently, I was tagged in this video that was created for our agency CCAI. I am so thankful for the love and care that was poured into Chloe's life before we met her. This video shows many of the Lily Orphan Care Centers that operate in China and stars our little girl (ok she may not be the focal point, but she sure shines bright when on screen!). She's the one in the purple sleeper. This video was shot in March when another family was picking up their daughter from the same orphanage. 

During the summer, I was asked to share about Chloe's adoption to a local women's bible study group. My first response was no. My second response was hesitation, but when I was approached again, I decided Chloe's story was worth sharing. Who knows how Chloe's story will touch anothers life? I sure don't feel worthy to share my story as a testimony, but when you ask me about my kids? Well, they are worth sharing every time! Below is the link to the video I created to share during that presentation.

http://youtu.be/3uYCngADoSs

Growing and learning by leaps and bounds

Well, we have hit a new milestone in Chloe's life. She is now potty trained! We tried tackling it a month or so ago, as she has seemed ready almost since we brought her home. The first go round went pretty well but by the middle of that week, she would scream when you put her on the potty and arch her back. We decided it wasn't worth a fight and gave it a rest. I decided to try again over the weekend (a few weeks ago), going straight into panties and not looking back. She is doing amazing! Only a couple of accidents over the weekend and has been almost accident free since (an oops here and there is few and far between).
The down side to being potty trained is that there are no underwear that fit her! I need to pull out the sewing machine and take all her panties in so they don't fall off, and her shorts are even looser now! All well worth it to see her tackling the newest stage of her life. We are very proud of our girl!

I likely say this far too often but I am so amazed at the difference in Chloe in less than 5 short months. To think of the little girl we met in China, to the amazing little girl that conquers every challenge set before her today. She has endured so much, and you would never know it. I'm just in awe of her resilience and love of life. She always has a smile on her face, loves to learn new things, is adding words and language skills daily, and is an all around beautiful girl.

One of my favorite things is to watch how she cares for others. She must have been the Nannies helper in China. When we are in the nursery, she lovingly takes toys to the children that are crying and pats them on the back. She looks at them with concern and clearly wants to make them happy. I love her sweet spirit. The other day, Teagan fell off her bike and had a good amount of road rash on her knee and elbow. Chloe was so concerned for her, telling us "owie" and showing us where the cuts were. She then climbed up beside me (holding T), and patted her sister on the back and shushing her as she cried. It was adorable.

Gotcha day in China, less than an hour in her Mama and Baba's arms

Gotcha Day and today. Such a big difference!

Lost in Translation

Poor Chloe. She has been making such great strides in her development, but unfortunately for her, some things just take time. Recently she has taken to using large hand motions and emphatic, repeated words to try and make us understand. It's just not working. We have no idea what she is trying to tell us and so we nod our heads and agree, or ask her to show us what she is telling us about. But it isn't helping. The same sentences are repeated over and over, her eyes pleading us to understand. She won't be deterred! Thankfully, her vocabulary is growing and it won't be long before her stream of chatter is understood. In the video below, we managed to figure out that "Ny" means "nice". The smile that came over her face when I finally guessed it was heart melting.



 

 



Redemption

I've been thinking a lot about my two youngest children recently. Let's be honest, these two girls have consumed a lot of my thoughts and attention over the last three years. Three years ago we learned I was pregnant with a child we had not planned. This is not to say we weren't excited. Once we got past the 'what have we done?!', we were ecstatic to welcome another 'lyttle' baby to our family. However, this was the month three years ago where our world would shatter. We learned, at eleven weeks pregnant, that our child had anencephaly, that she was doomed to die upon her entrance to the world. We were told repeatedly, in no uncertain terms that the best course of action was termination. To the shock of our doctors, and more than likely quite a few of our friends, we decided that we would carry her and love her until her body ceased working. We couldn't, and wouldn't, be the ones to take her life. We prayed for miracles, and prepared for her birth and death. She was born on March 9, 2012 and lived 95 beautiful minutes. On March 14, we celebrated her life with a beautiful 'celebration of life' service. Our pastor spoke of how 'every life has a purpose'.
On March 14, 2012, Chloe was abandoned on the other side of the world. "Every life has a purpose"...
We had always talked of adopting a child: in the future, when we could afford it, when our bio kids were a little older... It was something we talked about but never thought would occur. A dream that was too big. Sophie changed everything. We decided that we would pursue adoption as soon as our family healed. And so our journey to Chloe began in November of 2012.
Now I had something to focus on that dulled the pain of loss and I dove in head first, learning everything I could about international adoption. I joined groups on facebook, stalked timelines, read and reread our agencies information, basically made it my job to know and prepare for every eventuality. Soon our dossier was on its way and I was sure we would soon see the face of the child that would join our family. But we didn't. We waited, and waited... I remember how impatient I was during this time. I had long ago decided that we would be matched shortly after our dossier was logged in. Instead we waited 5 months. Knowing now the plan God had, I wish I could have just relaxed and enjoyed the ride. What if I had decided to take matters into my own hands? If we had chosen that child with a major heart defect? Or the cute girl with some unknown questions on her brain scan. We would of course have loved and cherished her, but we would have missed out on God's plan. Chloe is so clearly a Lyttle! I am thankful we waited for him to finish the work he began on March 14th.
March 14 was a day of loss. And yet in that loss came redemption. Chloe was rescued from the side of the road and eventually brought into our family. Sophie is no longer with us, but there is joy where there was mourning. I believe God wove these girls stories together to show us that he makes beauty from ashes. He took the brokenness of two different girls, and brought healing from tragedy. I don't know Chloe's biological families story, but I pray there is healing for them as well. 

Sophie Grace, our beautiful treasure in heaven

Chloe Faith with her big sister Teagan. Bringing joy everywhere she goes

3, wait no 4 months home!

Can you believe its been 4 months? I seriously cannot believe that Chloe has only lived with us for 4 months. How is that even possible? My heart bursts with love for this amazing little girl.
We took our first vacation last month when Sean's mom came to visit. I had everything planned out for the last month but I hadn't realized how confusing it would be for Chloe. Although the bulk of the trip went well, Chloe really struggled when it came to sleeping. By the second night of our 4 night vacation, I was ready to come home. Luckily, the daytime fun was enough to keep me sane and we survived our first vacation. Chloe experienced many firsts on this trip - the beach, swimming by herself (with a life jacket), feeding animals at the zoo, mini golf, and the many sights and sounds of Cocoa Beach.

Chloe had no idea what to do with the sand on the beach. When we first placed her down she just stood and stared at her feet. She wouldn't move and we had to pick her up to get to our spot further down the beach. After watching her siblings and other kids on the beach she decided to be brave and head towards the water, sand or no sand! That was all it took and Chloe became a happy beach baby from there on out. We looked for sea shells ("where are you shells?"), waded up and down the beach, and built sand castles.

First time on sand. "What is this stuff?!"

Checking out the monkeys at the zoo with Noah

Just before she got her first mouth full of salt water

Group selfie aka Groupie ;)

And a one and a two...

Feeding the deer at the zoo

Chloe has become more verbal in the last month, often trying to repeat the words we say. They are often still unrecognizable by most people but we understand a lot of the baby talk. She certainly knows how to get her point across and a big smile lights up her face when we understand her words. Current vocab: Mommy, Baba, Daddy, Noah (Nan), Ben (Bee), Teagan, Pop (for Poppa), Nana, Dexter, Strider, up, tacky (she loves weird al), bye, hi, eyes, hair, teeth, night-night, yeah, more, see you later, I love you, where are you, stop, baby, and the list goes on and grows constantly.

She can show you where her hair, eyes, ears, mouth, nose, teeth, and tongue are, as well as hands and toes. She loves music and will give me a big smile if I ask her if she wants me to sing at bedtime.
Bedtime involves me laying her down, and then laying on the floor beside her crib. She will smoosh her face up to the bar with a giggle and wait for me to give her a kiss through the bars, then she will push each hand out to be kissed. Once she has gotten her kisses, she will settle in and is out after 20-30 minutes usually. I lay on the floor holding her hand until she is out and she sleeps through the night until 7:00. Some nights she will wake in the middle crying for Mama but she is comforted quickly and asleep again in no time.

During the first weeks with Chloe, she had a few mishaps using stairs (running full force off the steps) and had no idea how to sit correctly on the slide or use any playground equipment. Last week we were at the park and I realized she can play by herself on the toddler playground. She was climbing steps (and correctly going down them), climbing ladders, going down the slide (and climbing back up it), even using the rock wall! What a huge change! She has learned so much in the last few months.
This little girl lights up our life and brings joy wherever she goes. Our local grocery store always gives her the royal treatment and if either or us happen to go without Chloe we will be stopped by no less than three employees asking where the baby is.

With the start of school, Chloe has begun a new routine. She now spends one morning a week with a friend of the family. I was very anxious about this, as some days I worry about her attachment. Chloe has a very friendly personality and seems to get along and interact with anyone. This girl has never met a stranger. However, it became quite clear upon leaving her that she is truly attached to me as her momma, as she cried when we talked about staying with Miss Vicky, and then really brought out the waterworks when I left her. It was very hard to leave her, but it makes work so much easier for those few hours! Chloe always calms down quickly and enjoys her time, and the joy on her face when I come to pick her up is the best!

Chloe has always struggled with eating. We have had a very hard time getting her to eat anything. After the seizure that landed her in the hospital, we became very concerned with the number of calories she was consuming and put her on three pediasures a day. Thankfully, she is finally over 20 lbs and is eating a little bit better. We can pretty much guarantee that she will eat grapes, noodles, oatmeal, and peas. Everything else seems to change daily. She may devour a chicken nugget one day, and then the next day she will throw it on the floor and tell you she is all done (having eaten nothing). It's definitely a work in progress but we are happy to see 2 lbs added to her little frame. And did i mention she gained an inch and a half the first 6 weeks home? We have some serious catching up to do over here!

And here are a couple random shots for you to end the post :)

Singing in the truck

At the Dr's office. Before shots. It's a bit dark but she is belly laughing. 

14 years together!

Sean and I are celebrating 14 years of marriage today. 14 years! As I sit and reflect on all that has happened in 14 years, I am amazed what we have accomplished.
We have seen: minimum wage jobs, tiny apartments, living in Kissimmee, living in Winter Haven, finding our career paths, buying our house, arguments & stress, mission trips to Africa, pregnancy and birthing 4 children, learning our 4th child would die, holding her for 95 minutes of life, adopting our 5th child, traveling to China, faith tested, faith strengthened… Who could have seen these things in our future? And what would I have thought had I known then what I know now?
One thing is for sure, I was blessed with a man that walks through all these joys and trials beside me. Holding me steady when my legs are ready to buckle. I wouldn't want to go through this life with anyone else by my side.

On attachment and other such things

One of the difficult parts of adoption is bonding. Imagine if you lived with a group of people your entire life, going to one person for food, another for comfort, and another yet for help. You learn to charm all of these people so that your needs are always met with a smile from whomever you asked. In a nutshell, that is the life of an orphan. Chloe had a steady stream of caretakers. Although she always lived in the same Luohe orphanage, she was moved between rooms (and thus caretakers) a number of times. When we first met Chloe she was a very outgoing child, with no fear of strangers at all. She came to us without complaint, we were just another set of caregivers to her. While in China, Sean and I watched her happily running between the families, sharing items she collected with them as she went. When we arrived home she was quite content to let our family give her hugs and love on her. Now, one month home, we are starting to see her attachments become more firm. When we go to church she clings to me as I hold her, turning away if someone asks to hold her. If we are visiting family, she will hug them goodbye, but quickly ask to be put down to run to Mommy's arms. I am so thankful to see her make these steps towards us. She is learning that we are the people that will take care of ALL her needs, the ones who will love her unconditionally. Forever.

Why is attachment so important? Well for one, we want Chloe to know that not everyone is safe. Just as we all teach our children 'stranger danger' we must instill in Chloe that she can not trust every person she meets. We also want her to understand what family means. Chloe was loved and nurtured in her orphanage, but no orphanage can take the place of a family. She must form an attachment to us in order to willingly receive the love and care we are offering. She must learn that Mommy and Daddy are the ones that will provide all her needs. Not Nana, Poppa, Uncle, or random stranger she meets at Publix. Thankfully, we are moving daily in the right direction. We certainly don't have all the answers to make sense of this crazy dance called attachment, but we are glad to see progress.

On to other news... We took the kids to SeaWorld over the weekend for a few hours (perks of being passholders). Before adopting I lamented the fact that our passes would likely not be used for months after we got home, little did I know the little Spitfire we were going to be bringing home! Chloe is unafraid to be in new places, in fact I would say she thrives in new environments, soaking up everything she comes into contact with. We got to catch a few shows and see some of the animals up close. Chloe loved it all. Noah, Ben, and Teagan were glad to show Chloe all the sights and sounds and were happy to see two new shows as well.

Lastly, Chloe has given us another scare and we will be heading to the GI specialist in the morning. She just isn't eating like she should be. Prayers are always appreciated, I am at a loss as to what to do with a child that won't eat. Our other three children have always eaten whatever is placed in front of them.

She loves to swing, this picture cracks me up

This relationship has surprised me the most. And I LOVE it. Noah is an awesome big brother.

SeaWorld, 10 p.m., still going strong. Dancing her way towards the exit.