A Lyttle News: On attachment and other such things

One of the difficult parts of adoption is bonding. Imagine if you lived with a group of people your entire life, going to one person for food, another for comfort, and another yet for help. You learn to charm all of these people so that your needs are always met with a smile from whomever you asked. In a nutshell, that is the life of an orphan. Chloe had a steady stream of caretakers. Although she always lived in the same Luohe orphanage, she was moved between rooms (and thus caretakers) a number of times. When we first met Chloe she was a very outgoing child, with no fear of strangers at all. She came to us without complaint, we were just another set of caregivers to her. While in China, Sean and I watched her happily running between the families, sharing items she collected with them as she went. When we arrived home she was quite content to let our family give her hugs and love on her. Now, one month home, we are starting to see her attachments become more firm. When we go to church she clings to me as I hold her, turning away if someone asks to hold her. If we are visiting family, she will hug them goodbye, but quickly ask to be put down to run to Mommy's arms. I am so thankful to see her make these steps towards us. She is learning that we are the people that will take care of ALL her needs, the ones who will love her unconditionally. Forever.

Why is attachment so important? Well for one, we want Chloe to know that not everyone is safe. Just as we all teach our children 'stranger danger' we must instill in Chloe that she can not trust every person she meets. We also want her to understand what family means. Chloe was loved and nurtured in her orphanage, but no orphanage can take the place of a family. She must form an attachment to us in order to willingly receive the love and care we are offering. She must learn that Mommy and Daddy are the ones that will provide all her needs. Not Nana, Poppa, Uncle, or random stranger she meets at Publix. Thankfully, we are moving daily in the right direction. We certainly don't have all the answers to make sense of this crazy dance called attachment, but we are glad to see progress.

On to other news... We took the kids to SeaWorld over the weekend for a few hours (perks of being passholders). Before adopting I lamented the fact that our passes would likely not be used for months after we got home, little did I know the little Spitfire we were going to be bringing home! Chloe is unafraid to be in new places, in fact I would say she thrives in new environments, soaking up everything she comes into contact with. We got to catch a few shows and see some of the animals up close. Chloe loved it all. Noah, Ben, and Teagan were glad to show Chloe all the sights and sounds and were happy to see two new shows as well.

Lastly, Chloe has given us another scare and we will be heading to the GI specialist in the morning. She just isn't eating like she should be. Prayers are always appreciated, I am at a loss as to what to do with a child that won't eat. Our other three children have always eaten whatever is placed in front of them.